Reports from Inauguration 2013

The US Park Service, commenting on this weekend's inaugural events said, "This is the largest flock of sheep ever seen at an the Obama event." They estimated that at least 3 million of the bleating creatures were in DC to see their leader. Reporters attending the event said, “The bleating from the flock was so loud that it drowned out the braying from the Obama,” and this, despite the state-of-art sound system being used. One reporter also noted that, “I had not seen so much crap since attending an Occupy Wall Street event. “There was so much dung everywhere that one could hardly take a step without stepping in a steaming pile," he further noted. Piles were especially large in areas where Democrat Congress People and Senators congregated. Another observer commented that the lectern from which the Obama brayed was, "especially piled deep." Fashion pundits attending the event stated that the important fashion accessory for this year’s inauguration is the hip waders!