Not So Great Expectations

The Obamadministration is desperate to find anything that it can claim as a success - today it is the economy. The economy is beginning to show signs of life. The economy grew 3.5% in the July-September quarter. The White House propaganda machine was quick to claim credit for the growth on behalf of the Obama's economic policies. Unfortunately the data are against the White House's claims. The White House claims that the growth is evidence that the Stimulus is working. The facts are, of the nearly $800 billion in stimulus money that Congress appropriated, only $173 billion of it has been spent and of that only $47 billion has been spent on what could be called "shovel ready" programs, roads and other infrastructure jobs. The rest went to social spending and tax refunds to non-tax payers. The cash for clunkers program spent $3 billion and now we are finding that it had less of an impact than first estimated. Only 125000 of the nearly 700000 cars sold can be credited to the program. Only about a point and a half of the 3.5 points can be attributed to this one-time program. The only government initiative, and it is not really the government, it is the Fed, working are the low interest rates, which is helping with borrowing by businesses. The low interest rates are all Bush initiatives not the Obama's. The other piece of evidence against the White House's claims of glory is that historically, recessions typically last between 18 to 24 months and we are approaching the end of this recession so one expects the economy to begin trending upward. The real damning bit of evidence, though, is that Americans continues to lose jobs. One would have expected job loss to level off or start decreasing but it actually ticked up more than expected. In the coming years we will be paying for the $800 billion that was appropriated via borrowing so this growth really is an artificial blip in the long term.

The Lie Heard 'round the World

It's the lawyer's joke: How can you tell when Nancy Pelosi is lying? Her lips are moving. She is now on the television lying to Americans about the Democrat's Health Insurance destruction bill. Her minion Steny Hoyer is now lying about how open the process has been - when not a single Republican was allowed into the committee hearings to give input and nothing has shown up on the web. So, the next time that Pelosi accuses the CIA of lying, she needs to take a look at the transcripts of today's lie-a-thon and count the number of lies she and Steny have told America. I have put my wading boots on because the flow of crap from the crap-holes is even now oozing out of the television.

For the Obama and Civil Rights - Global Warming Comes First

Bret Stephens: Does Obama Believe in Human Rights?

In Massachusetts not long ago, I found myself driving behind a car with "Free Tibet," "Save Darfur," and "Obama 08" bumper stickers. I wonder if it will ever dawn on the owner of that car that at least one of those stickers doesn't belong.

the Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for being seen to be Good

In light of the following column by Bret Stephens over at WSJ: A Perfect Nobel Pick I may have to rethink my position on the Obama's Nobel Peace Prize. Basically, he notes that the Obama joins a crowd of relatively obscure recipients whose only qualification is that they talk a lot about peace but actually don't do much about it. He terms them the Goodists.

Who are the Goodists? They are the people who believe all conflict stems from avoidable misunderstanding. Who think that the world's evils spring from technologies, systems, complexes (as in "military-industrial") and everything else except from the hearts of men, where love abides. Who mistake wishes for possibilities. Who put a higher premium on their own moral intentions than on the efficacy of their actions. Who champion education as the solution, whatever the problem. Above all, the Goodists are the people who like to be seen to be good.

These people don't actually do anything that leads to peace - that role belongs to the leaders - Churchill, FDR, Patton, MacArthur, Reagan, etc - no these are the guys and girls who were getting their asses kicked in high school while trying to talk some bully out of kicking their butts. That's the Obama, so he fits right in. There are of course a few exceptions - there was Teddy Roosevelt - certainly not a shrinking violet. There were a lot of kooks, Gore, Carter, Rigoberta Menchú, and some downright evil people Yasser Arafat, but in general the prize has gone to the talkers over the doers. So, the most extraordinary thing about the Peace Prize is how un-extraordinary it is. Had anyone of the liberals that were running against the Obama won the White House and spewed the drivel he has they too would have won the award. The award is not about America and our values but all about the Obama - and lets be clear not the person but his words - he's considered to be good.

Health Care Destruction

First of all I need to reiterate that they - the liberals (and everyone else) need to stop calling it Health Care Reform. There is nothing reformative about any of the bills that are being bantered about by the libs. A better word would be "destructive," because in the end that is what their effect will be - to destroy health care as we know it. So far, the Baucus bill and others are nothing but a mishmash of Congressese jammed together and called Health Care Reform. The CBO magically came up with a scoring, of conceptual language no less, that just perfectly matched the Obamacrat's estimate ~$900 Billion over ten years. To their everlasting dismay PriceWaterhouseCoopers in a report on the impact of Health Care Destruction, estimated that on the low side it will cause the price of premiums for a family plan will rise $4000 over that 10 years. (see) Part of the reason for the rise in premiums is the requirement that all comers be covered - so the premiums for those with pre-existing conditions will be very expensive and because the Senate bill has such a weak mandate that young and health uninsured be covered there will be gaps in the funding for the sick that will have to be made up by raising the rates on everyone else. Remember that the Senate bill is really a ponzi scheme - very much like Social Security - that requires millions of currently uninsured healthy people - people who are at low risk if using their insurance - pay into the scheme to cover those that will put huge drains on the scheme. All this to cover 15-20 million people (no illegal aliens need apply) who don't have insurance because they are poor or have pre-existing conditions - raising the covered from 83% to 95% they say, yet after 10 years there will still be 25 million uninsured - hmmmmm! I can't figure out if the 5% that won't be covered are the illegal aliens or the fact that nothing is perfect (an understatement). Is the 25 million not covered after 10 years include illegal aliens or is that the number of people the government system can't reach because of whatever - are they an excuse to further raise the rates and taxes on the rest of us to pick up the slack? So if 15-20 millions costs $1 Trillion - the floor, not the ceiling, how much will an additional 25 million cost us - $3 Trillion?

The Nobel Fake Award

Jeeze, Peggy Noonan too! A Wicked and Ignorant Award:

The members of the committee have also put the young American president in a terrible place. They make it look like all the talk of "The One," the heartthrob of the European elite, the darling of the international left, is true. They make him look prefabricated and inauthentic, an empty structure held up by essentially silly people. Which puts him at a disadvantage in his own country, because Americans don't really like it when flaky European politicians tell them how they ought to see him or the world. (Emphasis mine)

Unfortunately, Ms. Noonan, the Nobel committee has just affirmed what most of us already think about the Obama - a fake.

Being Great means being Loved by Norway

The problem I have with columns like this one from Michael Hirsh, Thanks for Not Being Bush, is that they start from the incorrect premise that somehow America was better before Bush - and not Reagan better but Bill Clinton better. The Hirsh's of the world forget that under Clinton the Telecom industries and the dotcom industries were regulated into the ground; that Fannie and Freddie were given free reign to lend to the unqualified - thus the housing collapse at the end of Bush's term. There was nothing great about the Clinton term in office - unless you consider being loved by everyone in the world - except the terrorists, which he ignored, which led to 9/11 - as being great. You see, those that are following the Obama around like a bunch of puppies believe that America is great only if the government is dictating every second of our lives and only if the rest of the world loves us. For them a great America is not about projecting strength and high moral values around the world - as Reagan and Bush did - no, it is about going with the world flow, socialism and sloppyism. I don't give a rat's ass if France or England or Norway for that matter likes the US and if the Obama and his band of merry incompetents would get out of the way and stop trying to micromanage everything the economy will take care of itself. If being great means being like the rest of the world then screw that.

Update: I was thinking further about what the Obama-bel Peas Prize means, not only is it a swipe at George Bush and Ronald Reagan, but it is a full open-handed smack of America. The Norwegians were not recognizing Obama's New American world leadership but Obama's New American followership. They are not acknowledging our willingness to lead but our willingness to follow the rest of the world. Obama is not a leader and his version of America is not as leading but following.

the Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for Wishful Thinking

From a front page article at the WSJ (Obama Awarded Peace Prize) we learn the real reason he was given the award:

Agot Valle, a Norwegian politician and member of the committee, said in a phone interview that the choice of Mr. Obama was primarily related to his stance on nuclear disarmament. Ms. Valle said the committee last met on Oct. 5, and that the decision to choose him was unanimous. She said his recent work at the United Nations in late September to pass a resolution calling for a strengthened Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty helped his candidacy.

Translate: Obama was awarded the peace prize for a bit of puffery that he slathered on the Security Council about striving for a Nuclear Weapons free world - the same bit of puffery that got him "bitch" slapped by French President Sarkozy (remember this?). So, it turns out that the awarding wasn't really about anything of substance but about more of the same liberal blather heard since the days of Carter the Withered. World peas, blah, blah, blah! One has to wonder why Reagan and Bush weren't awarded the prize - both actually accomplished reductions in Nuclear Weapons and addressed head on the issue of proliferation. We know that Clinton's policies allowed North Korea to get the weapon - and India and Pakistan and we also know that the Obama's current policy will ensure that soon Iran has a weapon and NK will possibly use theirs on SK. The reality is, the award was given for not for action but for blathering.

I also think that the Obama should get the Field's Award - the Nobel for Mathematics - for the invention of new math that explains why a $10 Trillion health care bill won't cost us a penny.

And the Obama goes to - Who Else?!

Oh glory be to the Obama, glorious leader of we who be the citizens of the land and country of the Obama, that he has for the 11th straight year won the coveted the Obama Glory Be Prize. It was unanimous the decision by the council of the Obama to award the Obama the Obama award. May the glorious the Obama's ego be stroked. The council of the Obama sited his continued pontification on silly things as the reason for once again awarding him the Obama. The response of the rest of the world was one of great jealousy - Ho Hum, once Again! the Obama celebrated by sending another 11,000 Obamas to die in his fight to spread the word of the Obama. Glory be, to he that be, the Obama. Obama to you!

The Ignorant Krugman

Paul Krugman liberal columnist for the NYTimes wrote a thinly veiled plea for a second round of stimulus funding: The Uneducated American. The column is tacitly about the state of education in America and the impact of funding declines on education. In fact it is an appeal for a second stimulus bill. Instead of just saying, "Why don't we spend more of our current stimulus money on education?" Krugman is actually saying, "Pass another stimulus bill, some of that money should go to education." In the entire article he never once addresses the real problem with education in America. What does the great liberal suggest:

First of all, Congress needs to undo the sins of February, and approve another big round of aid to state governments. We don’t have to call it a stimulus, but it would be a very effective way to create or save thousands of jobs. And it would, at the same time, be an investment in our future.

Beyond that, we need to wake up and realize that one of the keys to our nation’s historic success is now a wasting asset. Education made America great; neglect of education can reverse the process.

Since lack of funding isn't the real problem with education, I would suggest that instead of pumping more money into the lost cause, why don't we just go find several million toilets and piss the money down them - the effect on education would be the same.

You too can succeed by doing nothing

So, what is the real meaning of the Obama winning the No-Bel Please Prize? Well, the most obvious meaning, is that it is an affirmation of the liberal principle: "That it is not what you do that counts, it's what you think you deserve." It is an affirmation of the growing socialism in this country. It sends the message to young people that achievement is not what it is about - just showing up gets you ahead. The prize symbolizes the movement to eliminate grades and measures of accomplishment; the movement to stop keeping score to protect the fragile psyches of our little ones. The sad thing is that there are people and groups that were nominated for this prize that are actually doing something to promote peace and for whom $1.4M would go a long way to helping their cause. Instead the prize goes to boost the fat head of a man who has accomplished nothing ever and especially nothing toward building peace. If the award is to be handed out for giving airy empty speeches then why didn't Castro or Chavez get it - well maybe they should - (see and earlier post). I'm surprised that thousands of liberals haven't come out of the woodwork screaming, "Hey I haven't done anything either, were's my prize?"

Why didn't all of the Nobel Prizes go to the Obama??

Ann Althouse has a riddle.

the Obama Gladly Accepts the Nobel Prize for Clowns and Meaning Well

I thought that I might give you a few excerpts from the Obama's speech accepting the Nobel Clown Prize:

I the great one, the Messiah, the Obama, gladly accept this prize on behalf of my ego. This prize means as much to me as the prize I won in 6th grade for just showing up at a little-league baseball team even though I was not on the team and did not play. I did show up, though. I know that I have accomplished nothing and that the world is less safe than it was before I took over the White House, but I have the audacity to blame that all on the former president ... Bush. I see this prize as a call to give more speeches that say nothing but do give hope to terrorists around the world that they one day rule us all. I will do all I can to insure that Iran and North Korea continue their weapons development and to help them join the nuclear world. When I said in my much derided babble to the security council that I wanted I nuclear weapons free world, I meant that, I want everyone that hates us to have free nuclear weapons. Only when those countries that hate us have weapons of mass destruction will they be able to settle the score with the great demon of the west, the US, which I hate - death to the infidel Americans. Thank you. I plan on using the money to help ACORN get my cronies out of Chicago before the weapons fall. Honk, Honk!

The 2009 Nobel Clown Prize has been awarded to the First Clown - the Obama

The Audacity of Audacity! For probably the last 10 or 20 years it has been pretty well given that the Nobel Peace Prize is nothing but a political prize given by a committee - not associated with the real Nobel Prizes given for real contributions to society - to individuals or groups that have actually not contributed to the promotion of peace. This year the final nail in the prizes' coffin has been set - the Messiah, the Great One, the Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. From a Washington Examiner piece, the opening paragraph, gives the reasons why the committee thought the Obama worthy of such a worthless prize - a total mockery of the Obama's world vision:

President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday in a stunning decision designed to encourage his initiatives to reduce nuclear arms, ease tensions with the Muslim world and stress diplomacy and cooperation rather than unilateralism. (Emphasis mine)

Every president since the rise of the Soviet Union and the growth of the terrorist Islamic states have had this mission - so why give the prize to the Obama, who has had not one success in foreign policy since taking office - well, because the prize is not given for success and accomplishment but only as a reward for awkward stupidity. The world is still rolling around laughing from his UN Security Council speech to eliminate nuclear weapons and Israel is about to destroy Iran because the Obama's great diplomacy has led to great advances in Iran's Nuclear Weapon's program. I still haven't heard NK promising to give up its weapons. Given the Peace Prize committee's decision this year, I think that if I were to hear that I had won the prize I would immediately hold a press conference and decline. I would never want to be placed along with the pantheon of clowns that have won the award in the last decade.

My biggest disappointment, other than the final everlasting cheapening of the Peace prize to just another "he showed up" prize, is that the committee did not go all the way and include a co-recipients of the prize the other major players in the Obama circus - Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez, Castro, Kim Jong Il, Hamas, and Hezbollah. I mean, afterall, fair is fair, if you are going to reward doing nothing to help peace why not include everyone?

The only sitting President to win the award for actually doing something to promote peace was Theodore Roosevelt in 1906, when he helped end the Russo-Japanese war. His negotiations led to the "Treaty of Portsmouth." Woodrow Wilson also received the prize, as a sitting president, but his prize was for work that led to World War II. And now the 3rd sitting president to receive the award, the Obama, gets it for doing nothing. In 2002 Jimmy Carter, a former president - in title only - received the prize for being a Bush critic.

In his 1895 will, Alfred Nobel stipulated that the peace prize should go "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations and the abolition or reduction of standing armies and the formation and spreading of peace congresses."

I am trying to remember when Nobel's charter was changed from this to, "the peace prize should go to the person who blathers the most on the most inane subjects," which clearly fits the Obama and would be the reason for the award. I am sure that Sarkozy totally agrees with the choice!

A few Dorks!!

Testing email blogging
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The Math Doesn't Add Up

I have tried hard to understand how the Obama can reform health care and pay for 30 million uninsured people and do it all for less than $1 T over 10 years. Clearly, I am missing something - or am I. Here's what I tried to do just considering the 30 million and the cost to insure them. Insurance premiums for a pretty good plan might cost $10,000 a year - (low for the current average family rate). So, 30 million people at $10,000 per year is $300 Billion and over 10 years that is $3 Trillion. Even if we cut the premium in half to $5,000 per year - which is in line with current average costs for individuals - that is still $1.5 Trillion and this covers only the 30 million uninsured. These numbers don't include the cost of pre-existing conditions - how many of the 30 million have medical conditions, cancer etc, that require more expensive treatments not often covered or covered only sparsely under current insurance policies? Will these 30 million new insurees have to pay a co-pay? Is there some belief that by creating a pool of 30 million people the rates will be much lower?? Well, if that is the case then the answer is right before our eyes - allow companies and individuals to shop across state boarders and allow for interstate pooling of insurees - in like industries for example - and current rates would come down. Why do we need a government run health care program? With $1.5 to $3 trillion floating around why not let it go to the industry? I guarantee that administrative costs will be 50 to 70% lower in the private sector than in the government sector. The majority of Medicare/Medicaid waste is on the government side of the house not on the other side.

Obamanomics at Work

The lead story of my Kindle edition of the WSJ: Jobs Data Cloud Recovery

Employers cut another 263,000 jobs in September and the unemployment rate rose to a 26-year high of 9.8%, raising worries that the persistently weak labor market could undermine a nascent economic recovery from the worst U.S. recession since the Great Depression.

The story goes on to say that while there are some indications that the economy is improving people are still losing jobs. It is also expected that:

"The pace of the recovery is likely to slow," said Nigel Gault, chief U.S. economist for research firm IHS Global Insight. "Ultimately, if we don't get job growth, we're not going to get sustained growth in consumer spending. How could we get a really strong recovery without consumers?"

Another bit of sobering news:

The number of unemployed -- officially at 15.1 million -- is greater than the population of all but four states. The proportion of people who have been searching for work for longer than half a year rose to 35.6% of the unemployed, from a third of the work force in August. The dismal state of the job market led to a decline of 571,000 in the labor force, a sign that discouraged workers have given up looking for work entirely.

Even Later that Day - somewhere Over the Atlantic

In unison, the members of the State-Run-Media call out, "Oh great one, the Obama, just one more press conference." (Out on the wing, the Fox News guy hangs on for his dear life.)

the Obama: Why yes, I think one more would be just appropriate. I never get tired of hearing myself talk. The Pacific Ocean sure looks blue today doesn't it boys?
a voice: Psssst, Mr. President, sir, that's the Atlantic Ocean.
the Obama: Atlantic, who in the hell authorized us to fly over the Atlantic? I thought we were heading home to D. C. Ah crap, that means we'll have to land in San Fransisco Washington to refuel. I hate that damn town all those Gates worshipers. Well, there is a bright spot! We can pick up some of the sour dough stuff, you know, bread and maybe a case of Anchor Steam. Cleveland sure makes great beer!!
The Press: How are you taking the IOC's decision to give the Olympics to Rio? Are you upset Mr. President?
the Obama: I was indeed saddened that they chose Rio de Janeiro in South Africa.
a voice: Psssst, Mr. President, Rio de Janeiro is in South America, Brazil sir.
the Obama: South Africa, South America, what's the difference, they both have south in their names. As I was saying to my beloved press, it is a crying shame that the Japanese - tossing a defiant glance toward the direction of the voice - In Brazil, which by the way is in South Africa, got the Olympics. General McFly (uhh McTurn - ah hell it was a Mc Something - speaking of McDonalds, can someone get me a Big Mac?), anyways McDougall was adamant that we send troops to compete against the Talleyrand or we would lose the Olympics. And what did the IOC do? They moved the competition to Turkey, Rio de Janeiro, Turkey. Bastards. I am going to call for a resolution in the UN sanctioning the IOC for Olympics proliferation. On another topic, I have spent the last hour with one of my closest aides working on a plan to place...
a voice: Pssst, Mr. President, he wasn't an aide sir, he was your personal steward, not an aide.
the Obama: That's what I said, Stewart, and thank god he doesn't have AIDS, whew - it was a close one there wasn't it Stewart, heh, heh. Anyway, Stewart and I come up with a plan to blame this whole Olympics/Afghanistan mess on Oprah, and for good measure David Letterman, cause if he had kept his mouth shut about doinking everyone on his show and trying to blackmail the IOC, we would have won - I'm sure of it. Anyway, that's it for me, time to grab a nap and get rested up - long evening ahead of me - gotta find out where they hid my Teleprompter - what a disaster that speech was to General McTurd of the IOC.

A Performance to Remember

I though that, in light of all that has gone on today as a result of the IOC's decision to give the 2016 Olympics to Rio de Janeiro and the devastating impact that has had on the Obama and Michelle and Oprah and the Daley family and Valerie Jarrett and the handful of other who stood to make millions if the Olympics had come to Chicago, that I would give a few excerpts of the Obama's speech to the IOC. Maybe by carefully studying the speech we might find out where things went wrong for the Obama.

The Scene: A large room. Along a table that faces a large stage the IOC members sit, waiting the appearance of the Obama. The lights dim, over some loud speakers, blare strains of C. C. Rider, and somewhere thousands of simulated flash bulbs begin to pop, and the sound of thousands of cheering voice begin to rise with strains of C. C. Rider. A confused and aghast group of IOC members look around the room, shielding their eyes from a bright spot light that has appeared creating a circle on the stage. The Obama, dressed in a sequined suit strides out onto the stage to the increase roar of thousands of chanting fans, "Yes, We Can, Yes, We, Can, over and over almost drowning out the music. The Obama struts to the lectern and grabs the microphone from its holder and saunters to the center of the stage overlooking the table where the IOC members are seated, yelling "Thank you, Thank you very much." After talking a couple of bows the Obama walks back to the lectern and replaces the microphone in its holder. By now the music has died out and sound of the chants crowds are gone and the flash bulb pops have stopped.

the Obama: clearing his throat and glancing quickly from left to right and back, looking for his beloved Teleprompter, which is not there - Damn these IOC idiots, if they would just worship me like the rest of Europe all this would be unnecessary - I could be off touring the red light district with Axelrod and the other guys.
from somewhere off stage: Pssst, Pssst, Mr. President, Mr. President - your mike is still on.
A shocked Obama looks up: Holey shit, did I just say that? Heh, heh, - looking down at the IOC members, each with their mouths wide open and a stunned look in their eyes - Ahhhh, where was I, heh, heh, oh ya, As I was saying, I have come here to Copenhagen France to accept your selection of Chicago as the host of the 2016 Summer Olympics.
from somewhere off stage: in urgent tones - Pssssst, Psssssst, Mr. President.
the Obama: looking annoyed to be interrupted again - WHAT?!!
from somewhere off stage: The IOC, sir, hasn't made a selection yet.
the Obama: now looking really annoyed - Then what the hell am I doing here?
from somewhere off stage: Mr. President, you are giving a speech promoting Chicago as the best place for the 2016 Summer Olympics.
the Obama: looking a bit relieved - Yes, that's right, promoting. Members of the IOC, I think you'll find that my handling of the situation in Iran regarding their bid for the Olympics, will lead to a nuclear weapons free world. No, err, wait a minute, that's not the right speech - under his breath, but loud enough for the microphones to pick up and broadcast to everyone in the room - where in the hell is that Teleprompter when you need - damn IOC idiots. Oh, here it is, yah, now I got it. I have a dream, of a Nuclear Weapons Free World, a world in which our troops can compete in the Olympics if they are held in Chicago - that we they won't have to travel very far - see if you give the Olympics to Afghanistan like the General McCrazy guy was pleading to me this morning on the plane, then I would have to send the troops over there to compete against the Talywackers or some such group - I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying I was trying to get my socks to match.
The Head IOC Member: Hah, Hummm, Mr. President, please sir stay on topic.
the Obama: Sorry, uh, er, as I was saying when you so rudely interrupted me, hey what are you doing here anyway, these are highly important talks between us and the Iranians on controlling their illicit Olympics program. You're not supposed to be her.
from somewhere off stage: a shocked sounding voice - Mr. President, he's the head of the IOC - the guys who are going to decide where the Olympics go in 2016.
the Obama: If I had my way we'd just hold our own Olympics and leave these guys out - they look too damned old to compete anyway. As, I was a saying, and everybody just stop interrupting me - if I can get through this I can still me the "Rod" for a brew at Betsy's cat house - as I was saying. We will not be sending any troops to Afghanistan to compete against these IOC putzes - no the troops are going to Chicago to tear down the ghettos and toss out the poor to make way for a new Olympic Village, complete with a Starbucks or two and other stuff. My friends there have millions riding on this decision and so do I for that matter. Anyway if the IOC would see fit to just give it to us we can get on with Stimulation of the Economy - at least that's what Michelle calls it - tee hee, hee! - he winks to the head IOC member - know what I mean Vern?? Yes, we can. Thank you, thank you very much.
The lights dim, the spot light comes on, the music comes up blaring C. C. Rider, the horns drowning out all other sounds. The Obama strides from the stage. The music fades
Back Stage
the Obama: - Yelling loud enough to be heard by the IOC members still seated shocked and awed at having just witnessed the Obama's speech - Is there still time to get to the cat house - I'm not inviting those IOC Cretans.

Even Later That Day

At yet another press conference in front of an adoring crowd of reports from the State-Run-Media - Fox News was prevented from attending

NBC News Reporter: Mr. President, It must have come as a blow to hear that Chicago was eliminated from the running for the 2016 Summer Olympics.
the Obama: a few tears in his eyes - Yes, yes, it was and I blame it on Bush and the vast right wing conspiracy led by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. It was their actions that have prevented Olympic Care from moving forward. This would have brought millions of dollars to my crony-friends and a few thousand jobs to illegal aliens. The rumors of tearing down slums and displacing people are all made up - we would have moved those people to New York - don't want them milling around on the streets during an important event like the Summer Olympics - it would have embarrassed Michelle and me.
ABC News Reporter: Mr. President, What will you do know?
the Obama: tearing up even more - Well, Michelle and I will be holding a period of mourning in the Bahama's at one of our rich friend's homes and I will be ordering the flags at half staff. America has lost here and it's Bush's fault.
From the back of the crowd, being restrained by members of the Black Panthers, a Fox News Reporter yells: Mr. President, Mr. President, what about Afghanistan and General McChrystal's request for more troops.
the Obama: What, no, we won't be mourning in Afghanistan, I don't even know where that is. I said the Bahamas, their near Chicago and no, this McCrusty guy won't be traveling with us, what with all the press and others on Air Force One, there won't be any room. As to the troops, I am sorry to say that they won't be competing in the Olympics. Sob - Now Openly Crying.. Hic, Hic, I gotta go, Oprah and Dr. Phil are waiting for me, I have some issues to work out.

Later That Day

Later that day at a press conference after his speech to the Olympics Committee:

the Obama: Thank you, thank you, please not need to cheer!
Assistant: leaning in - Mr. President, no one is cheering, it's the press.
the Obama: a little dismayed - Oh, I just thought, given how important this speech was to the world and our goal of Olympics control - I just thought they would be cheering.
Assistant: Sorry Mr. President.
the Obama: That's okay, I'll still answer their questions.
Fox News Correspondent: Mr. President, how do you answer those who say, that given the state of affairs at home and in Afghanistan and Iraq, the President of the United States has better things to do then traipse off to Europe to lobby for a Chicago Olympics??
the Obama: That is an unmitigated lie, I did not have an affair here or at home. I'm ordering my Chief-of-Staff, what's his name - RAHM - TELEPROMPTER, to set up a call-in line so people can call in and tell on their neighbors for spreading these vicious lies about Health Care and my disinterest in, what the hell's that General's name - Crystal Light® - you know he makes Lemonade! Uh, yes, North Korea, I have this to say about that, we will not tolerate North Korea having the Olympics - it just ain't right. Our troops can't compete if they given the Olympics to North Korea, or Japan for that matter. Anyway, I was real stern with General Orders, I think that is his name, that there would be no new troops in Chicago unless we get the Olympics there and then they will really make a difference on the ground tearing down ghettos and low income housing to make room for a bright new Olympic Village - broad smile - hey, you know I was thinking, that we could send all those displaced poor people to, hey, where's that place where them bad guys are pushing us around - oh yes, New York City, we could send all those poor people to New York City and they could fight with those Talimen, Taliwomen - damn, where is that Teleprompter when you need it, going to have to have a talk with it when I get home.
Assistant: leaning in - ah Mr. President, the microphones are still on.
the Obama: looking out over a bewildered crowd of reporters and on lookers - Ah, sorry, where was I, ah yes, We will not give one inch to the terrorists, the Talismen, when it comes to the Olympics coming to Chicago. They will just have to be patient and wait their turn. Those damn Argentinians can be really brutal when it comes to the Olympics. As Biden has said, I will be tested - jeeze - I really need to find time to study - err, ahh, yes, we will not rest until Iran has given up their quest for the Olympics! We need Olympic Care Reform. Millions of Americans are going without quality Olympics. My wife, Michael, Mitchell, Maurine - you, know who I'm talking about and Harpo, are here with me pressing skin and wink, wink, nudge, nudging and offering large foreign aide packages to the Olympic Committee's families and friends so that we can get the Olympics the Americans need. The State-run-media, have told me that this will reduce unemployment in American by 0.01%, and raise the income of a couple of dozen of my closest crony friends. Thus, I will have a job in 2017 helping them to spend all the money they will have made because of my efforts to bring the Olympics home to Chicago. Poverty and want in America is a direct result of not having the Olympics in Chicago. I have asked Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to take the lead on sweeping legislation aimed at reforming the Olympics - in Chicago. So, when my critics, Rush Limbaugh, and the millions upon millions of disgruntled (and I might add, racist) Americans say that I am boondoggling, while Chicago burns, I say, Chicago is not burning, not right now anyway, cause we are still waiting to hear about getting the Olympics. Where was I, err, ahh, oh, yes, that's right, We will extend our hand to the Taliban in Rio de Janeiro, if they would just give up their bid for the Olympics. Hey, Rahm, would you get out a map and show the people where Rio is located in Japan and point out that it is strategically bad to locate an Olympics in South Africa. There's lions there for crying out load. Next Question.
NBC News Reporter: Mr. President, given all that is going on back home with Health Care reform, Nuclear Weapons in Iran and the advance of the Taliban in Afghanistan - What color scheme would you pick for the Chicago Olympics?
the Obama: looking delighted, with a big grin on his face - That is an excellent question, well, the kids named the dog, Bo and as for a color scheme, we chose brown for the carpets in the West Wing - hides the poop better. Next question.
ABC News Reporter: Mr. President, given all that is going on back home with Health Care reform, Nuclear Weapons in Iran and the advance of the Taliban in Afghanistan - Who do you think looked the best on this trip to Europe, Michelle or Oprah?
the Obama: with a sly look on his face - Another excellent question, hey Rahm, we gotta stop inviting those Fox News guys, they're always spoiling the mood - anyway getting back to this very important and relevant question to the whole issue of Olympics reform, I would say that that that Brazilian chick Mayora Tavares, had a real cute butt. And while we are on the topic if the Olympics go to Tokyo Brazil, we won't have anything to negotiate with with the Talisman in New York. Well, gotta go. Time to head home and get back to work talking non-stop on the morning shows - busy weekend.

Lemons and their Aides

You know the old saying, "When life tosses you a bunch of lemons, you make for Air Force 1 and jet off to Europe to lobby - with the other members of the black glitterati, including his wife, who has made such a major sacrifice jetting off to Europe on the tax-payer's nickle to help the 'kids,' - to have the Olympics in Chicago." And just to show us all that this was a working boondoggle, er, ah, I mean, a working trip, the Obama ordered the commander-on-the ground in Afghanistan to jump on a plane and fly to Copenhagen for a 20 minute in-depth chit-chat and photo op, on board Air Force 1 - in the President's cabin no less. I'm sure that this photo-op was very productive - the Obama gets to be seen (on camera) as really, really, really, being concerned about events in Afghanistan, while not seeming shallow for lobbying for urban Gentrification in Chicago. (On Board Air Force One - in the President's Cabin: the Obama: "Ahhh, general, you've had your 20 minutes, now get the hell out so I can finish practicing my speech to the Olympics committee. Oh, and hey, don't forget to stop at the cut out of me and smile for the press cameras. I need proof on the front page of the New York Times that I was actually doing work while on this boondoggle, er, important trip to help my Chicago, er, ah cronies, oh, er, ump, I mean the people of ACORN, darn that's not it - ah hell get out of here and stop whining about the Taliban. Next week I will extend my hand to them and let them beat the hell out of me - ah crap, where's that damn teleprompter when you need it - Rahm, what did I want to do with the Taliban? Errr, who cares, just go back to your tent and stop bugging me I got more important stuff to worry about - HEY Axel, where's Valerie Jarrett - need the name of that real estate company she owns or is associated with - need to know how many low income homes we will be plowing up to make way for the Olympic Village - ah, hell, you still here general? McChrystal: Ah, Sir, we didn't actually talk about Afghanistan and my request for more troops. You talked about Iran and how much you wished that their President, Chavez, would reconsider coming to the White House for Christmas. Sir, I really think that Chavez is dictator of Venezuela. the Obama: DON'T YOU CALL HIM A DICTATOR!!! YOU TIN STAR GRUNT. He's a freedom fighter for the interests of our Communist allies. And who the hell cares if he is leader of Iran or Iraq or the country of Copenhagen - he's a good man an idol of mine. Shit, I'm going to be late for my speech to the Olympics Committee you just need to get the hell our of here and let me get my smile just right - Rahm - where's that teleprompter - I can give a major policy speech on such an important subject without it. McChrystal: But Sir, Afghanistan, the troops." the Obama: You still here - what the hell do troops have to do with the Olympics - ah now I see, you're want to see more troops competing in the Olympics. What a great idea General - ahhh, what's your name... hell, never mind - how 'bout I just call your Mills, General Mills. I like that. Now what were you saying about health care - Rahm, where's that damn Teleprompter, and where that hell is Biden. Assistant: Mr. President... the Obama: Missy, you don't have to be so formal - just call me the Anointed One! Assistant: Sir, we didn't bring Vice President with us. the Obama: Who, I wasn't asking about the Vice President I was asking about Biden - ahhh, you know, some how I think that those two are plotting something. Assistant: Sir, which two are plotting something? the Obama: Weren't you paying attention, the Vice President and Biden. RAHM, the TELEPROMPTER - Does my hair look okay and the tie, does the tie match my underwear - oh wait I'm not wearing underwear - hee, hee ... Michelle really likes it when I go commando - get it? Wink, Commando in Chief - great title ay General Mills?? Hey, you still here? RAHM... Assistant: Sir, Mr. Emanuel did not come with us either. the Obama: Who?? Assistant: Sir? Mr. Emanuel, your Chief-of-Staff sir. the Obama: Who???? Assistant: Rahm, Sir - exasperated. the Obama: That's who I'm looking for, where the hell is he - RAHMMMMM - TELEPROMPTER. And don't you call him by Rahm, he's important and you need to address him more formally - Mr. Mills, it's Rahm Mills. I've heard that name somewhere. Assistant: Yes, Mr. President, my apologies, Mr. President, but Mr. President, there is no teleprompter. the Obama: looking dejected, I can't give a major policy speech without a teleprompter - hey general, what the hell is your name, ah yes, Orders, hey, General Orders, how does this sound: 'I have a Dream, of a Nuclear Weapons Free World, and toward the goal of that dream, We need to pull the Olympics from Japan and move it to Chicago.' Sounds great doesn't it? I'm done with you General Biden, go back to Korea and tell the troops I'm pulling for them to compete in the Olympics when they come to Chicago. Oh, and General, I'm goin' to want a full report from you on why you flew all the way here to, ah, looking at Assistant, where are we, ah yes Paris, just to tell me you want our troops to compete in the Olympics - when they come to Chicago - sly smile - that's wasting tax payer money just so you can boondoggle here in Paris Denmark. Fighting the Japanese should be your first priority not the Olympics. Now I gotta go - I hear they need me to give a very important speech on protecting the world from the spread of the Olympics.")