I though that, in light of all that has gone on today as a result of the IOC's decision to give the 2016 Olympics to Rio de Janeiro and the devastating impact that has had on the Obama and Michelle and Oprah and the Daley family and Valerie Jarrett and the handful of other who stood to make millions if the Olympics had come to Chicago, that I would give a few excerpts of the Obama's speech to the IOC. Maybe by carefully studying the speech we might find out where things went wrong for the Obama.
The Scene: A large room. Along a table that faces a large stage the IOC members sit, waiting the appearance of the Obama. The lights dim, over some loud speakers, blare strains of C. C. Rider, and somewhere thousands of simulated flash bulbs begin to pop, and the sound of thousands of cheering voice begin to rise with strains of C. C. Rider. A confused and aghast group of IOC members look around the room, shielding their eyes from a bright spot light that has appeared creating a circle on the stage. The Obama, dressed in a sequined suit strides out onto the stage to the increase roar of thousands of chanting fans, "Yes, We Can, Yes, We, Can, over and over almost drowning out the music. The Obama struts to the lectern and grabs the microphone from its holder and saunters to the center of the stage overlooking the table where the IOC members are seated, yelling "Thank you, Thank you very much." After talking a couple of bows the Obama walks back to the lectern and replaces the microphone in its holder. By now the music has died out and sound of the chants crowds are gone and the flash bulb pops have stopped.
the Obama: clearing his throat and glancing quickly from left to right and back, looking for his beloved Teleprompter, which is not there - Damn these IOC idiots, if they would just worship me like the rest of Europe all this would be unnecessary - I could be off touring the red light district with Axelrod and the other guys.
from somewhere off stage: Pssst, Pssst, Mr. President, Mr. President - your mike is still on.
A shocked Obama looks up: Holey shit, did I just say that? Heh, heh, - looking down at the IOC members, each with their mouths wide open and a stunned look in their eyes - Ahhhh, where was I, heh, heh, oh ya, As I was saying, I have come here to Copenhagen France to accept your selection of Chicago as the host of the 2016 Summer Olympics.
from somewhere off stage: in urgent tones - Pssssst, Psssssst, Mr. President.
the Obama: looking annoyed to be interrupted again - WHAT?!!
from somewhere off stage: The IOC, sir, hasn't made a selection yet.
the Obama: now looking really annoyed - Then what the hell am I doing here?
from somewhere off stage: Mr. President, you are giving a speech promoting Chicago as the best place for the 2016 Summer Olympics.
the Obama: looking a bit relieved - Yes, that's right, promoting. Members of the IOC, I think you'll find that my handling of the situation in Iran regarding their bid for the Olympics, will lead to a nuclear weapons free world. No, err, wait a minute, that's not the right speech - under his breath, but loud enough for the microphones to pick up and broadcast to everyone in the room - where in the hell is that Teleprompter when you need - damn IOC idiots. Oh, here it is, yah, now I got it. I have a dream, of a Nuclear Weapons Free World, a world in which our troops can compete in the Olympics if they are held in Chicago - that we they won't have to travel very far - see if you give the Olympics to Afghanistan like the General McCrazy guy was pleading to me this morning on the plane, then I would have to send the troops over there to compete against the Talywackers or some such group - I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying I was trying to get my socks to match.
The Head IOC Member: Hah, Hummm, Mr. President, please sir stay on topic.
the Obama: Sorry, uh, er, as I was saying when you so rudely interrupted me, hey what are you doing here anyway, these are highly important talks between us and the Iranians on controlling their illicit Olympics program. You're not supposed to be her.
from somewhere off stage: a shocked sounding voice - Mr. President, he's the head of the IOC - the guys who are going to decide where the Olympics go in 2016.
the Obama: If I had my way we'd just hold our own Olympics and leave these guys out - they look too damned old to compete anyway. As, I was a saying, and everybody just stop interrupting me - if I can get through this I can still me the "Rod" for a brew at Betsy's cat house - as I was saying. We will not be sending any troops to Afghanistan to compete against these IOC putzes - no the troops are going to Chicago to tear down the ghettos and toss out the poor to make way for a new Olympic Village, complete with a Starbucks or two and other stuff. My friends there have millions riding on this decision and so do I for that matter. Anyway if the IOC would see fit to just give it to us we can get on with Stimulation of the Economy - at least that's what Michelle calls it - tee hee, hee! - he winks to the head IOC member - know what I mean Vern?? Yes, we can. Thank you, thank you very much.
The lights dim, the spot light comes on, the music comes up blaring C. C. Rider, the horns drowning out all other sounds. The Obama strides from the stage. The music fades
Back Stage
the Obama: - Yelling loud enough to be heard by the IOC members still seated shocked and awed at having just witnessed the Obama's speech - Is there still time to get to the cat house - I'm not inviting those IOC Cretans.
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