Even Later that Day - somewhere Over the Atlantic

In unison, the members of the State-Run-Media call out, "Oh great one, the Obama, just one more press conference." (Out on the wing, the Fox News guy hangs on for his dear life.)

the Obama: Why yes, I think one more would be just appropriate. I never get tired of hearing myself talk. The Pacific Ocean sure looks blue today doesn't it boys?
a voice: Psssst, Mr. President, sir, that's the Atlantic Ocean.
the Obama: Atlantic, who in the hell authorized us to fly over the Atlantic? I thought we were heading home to D. C. Ah crap, that means we'll have to land in San Fransisco Washington to refuel. I hate that damn town all those Gates worshipers. Well, there is a bright spot! We can pick up some of the sour dough stuff, you know, bread and maybe a case of Anchor Steam. Cleveland sure makes great beer!!
The Press: How are you taking the IOC's decision to give the Olympics to Rio? Are you upset Mr. President?
the Obama: I was indeed saddened that they chose Rio de Janeiro in South Africa.
a voice: Psssst, Mr. President, Rio de Janeiro is in South America, Brazil sir.
the Obama: South Africa, South America, what's the difference, they both have south in their names. As I was saying to my beloved press, it is a crying shame that the Japanese - tossing a defiant glance toward the direction of the voice - In Brazil, which by the way is in South Africa, got the Olympics. General McFly (uhh McTurn - ah hell it was a Mc Something - speaking of McDonalds, can someone get me a Big Mac?), anyways McDougall was adamant that we send troops to compete against the Talleyrand or we would lose the Olympics. And what did the IOC do? They moved the competition to Turkey, Rio de Janeiro, Turkey. Bastards. I am going to call for a resolution in the UN sanctioning the IOC for Olympics proliferation. On another topic, I have spent the last hour with one of my closest aides working on a plan to place...
a voice: Pssst, Mr. President, he wasn't an aide sir, he was your personal steward, not an aide.
the Obama: That's what I said, Stewart, and thank god he doesn't have AIDS, whew - it was a close one there wasn't it Stewart, heh, heh. Anyway, Stewart and I come up with a plan to blame this whole Olympics/Afghanistan mess on Oprah, and for good measure David Letterman, cause if he had kept his mouth shut about doinking everyone on his show and trying to blackmail the IOC, we would have won - I'm sure of it. Anyway, that's it for me, time to grab a nap and get rested up - long evening ahead of me - gotta find out where they hid my Teleprompter - what a disaster that speech was to General McTurd of the IOC.